It starts like waves crashing onto shore, gently pulling you back and forth.
The one in a million chance, to be with the one person- who’s ever been true to you. And you think to yourself for a moment- how do we have this karma? Two souls that only come together once in a blue moon. Two souls that never really need each other to fulfill some job or perceived gender role. Yet two souls that need each other, completely- in spirit.
When you give someone a true piece of your true heart- you never know how it will come back to you. And then sometimes you need them to return the favor. Even if it was never owed.
There is a magic in love when it is true. And so many- they just play the game of letting it go, saying “it can’t be, it couldn’t possibly be this person who is meant for me” Or, “they’re just the one who got away. don’t dwell on it.” Or even worse- “Didn’t you say that person was just bad for you?”
And the truth is, I’ve learned- it’s people who lost the very ones that they loved the most that say things like that. People who are isolated to believing in love as a long term committed relationship that is supposed to meet the standards of the world, and yet are plagued by indecision and emptiness when it comes down to accepting that it’s time to repair thier own.
Marraige doesn’t have to be an empty attatchment, waiting for the right moment to be severed. Relationships don’t have to meet the needs of a demmanding world that will never stop knocking on your door, wanting more, and more, and more. Until you can’t give anymore, until you can’t be anymore, until you have to admit defeat and move on.
I don’t believe that marraige was meant to be two people barely making it together, but when you are barely making it with the person you truly love the world is itself more loving to you. more supportive of your goals, and needs.
The world rejoices and reflects the love that you carry with you. No matter what it is.
And when it is true- it reflects that honesty and authenticity. ❤
And when it’s not authentic, not honest, toxic, entagled in attatchment? The universe reflects that too. Always looking for a way to keep yourself in the pattern, because you are yourself trying to keep everything the same. Afraid of the change.
When love is true- the whole world rejoices and supports. When love is not true- the whole world conflicts, because you are conflicted. The whole world, darkens because you are darkened then by it too.
Affairs are not all that they seem- sometimes they are needed. It’s a sad but true fact. Sometimes an affair is exactly what a couple needs in order to let go of what they simply refuse to admit is not good for them for as human beings, anymore.
Marraige often matures but the people don’t, time passes, but the humans in the marriage simply stay the same believing it will always be ‘this way’ it just has to be ‘this way’, if it were any other way, we wouldn’t know how to be.
But when love is true- it’s not any less difficult, it’s not any less hard, or arduous, it’s not any less consuming, or challenging, at all. Or so I imagine-
It is still just two human beings, figuring out how best to ‘be’ together.
It is still one long conversation checkered by disputes.
It is still one long beautiful journey of two hearts- colliding. becoming one, and becoming themselves.
The only difference is it’s together.
There is no sacred partner that can ‘fix’ their abusive behavior in order to be a better person, so that you can have the partner that you ‘want’ without having to change your choices, and align your heart with what is loving and healthy.
There is no healthy partner that can fix the fact that your partner is abusive.
There is no healthy partner that can make it all better- a healthy partner makes you healthy, not a completely different person. Just a healthy version of you- because they are already themselves healthy as who they are.
A healthy partner is not going back down, when you insist on staying comfortable.
A healthy partner doesn’t want you to be lost in the comfortability of an abusive situation, that has caused you to disregard your own best instinct.
When love is true- it echoes. It is timeless. And it is never really ending.
I just begins again sometimes if you are lucky. ❤