Late Comebacks

What I meant to say was-

how dare you try to take my men?


They are all fuckaholics, alcoholics, half-wits,

and they aren’t very good at cheating either.

But they do it, a lot.


Well, I suppose if you insist- you can have one.

But I’m warning you-

take off your shoes and get ready-

to stand in the kitchen. never having children.

don’t worry he loves bologna, with American cheese.

and when he farts under the covers at 2am-you’ll understand.


Would you like the one that tried to kill me and himself,

or the one that tried to drown himself in rum?

there is quite a selection here you realize.

They are all well aged, and vintage.

We have Sweet, and sour-

dark and mysterious,

or for the adventurous-

confused. pickled, and loves fetishes.


Ode to the jealous, narcissistic woman-

who can’t help but want what you have,

a life that looks better than theirs,

though a life of thier own would help.


I can’t be sure, but based on these rules

which I did not invent-

If I start dating myself,

she may become a lesbian.










I can still feel it-

the pang, sometimes takes me back.

The way it was just so effortlessly persuaded.

The way nobody questioned it, not one single person.

Well not to my face. at least. or theirs.


How can someone with so much goodness,

tear another’s life apart so seamlessly?

That’s real jealousy.


Like a hissy fit, once thrown in a store

over the things, parents have to say-

like the big N-O.

Little girls do not grow up to be dolls,

little girls do not grow up to become their own barbies,

girls do not become women, not quite yet-

until they’ve faced their own jealousy, their own darkness-

the self-righteousness of the soul, the ego, the id.


Jealousy is only the natural reaction to the word NO,

you can’t have it,

it’s not yours,

we can’t bend every rule-

not for your whole life dear.


Jealousy is the mask, of the girl, who always has a new doll.

The girl who never had to accept no,

and now cannot overcome no either.

It is deep down, the fear-

the slow building of resentment,

the quick growing panic-

the world will not bend to her will anymore.




Healing the Chalice (photo blog)


Shifting of the tides- the well over flows. This is the new faucet after 50 years of changes- not quite the old pipe sticking out of the ground that it once was. Still beautiful.


Amazingly clear waters from the adjacent water table. 🙂


A magical journey to healing the waters- is marked by the beauty of the sun reflecting. No changes were made to these photos- at all- and I took them on my phone. Pretty awesome reflections today, quite literally dazzling!



This I imagine is where all the water undines probably are hiding, it is thier magical portal to the artesian well- not far below these stones. 🙂 Again, without any edits made to the photo-I just got lucky today!




For plants and warm mornings…

for spirit and friendship…

For coffee in bed…

for mushrooms just because but maybe don’t eat those…

For waffles, usually home made…the poor way is much cooler…

and for love….

And chocolate always. ❤ 😉

Drowning in Love

“She has the key to save him and change their situation. Regardless of how they got in this predicament, she STILL holds the key. Now she could give him the key and “set him free” but she doesn’t trust him. She thinks if he could get away by any means he would and leave her . . . . to die! But he wants to save her regardless of their situation. He will stretch himself far and thin in order to save her to have her to hold her. However he’s powerless to change anything his circumstance only but allows so much and unfortunately it will never be enough. Not enough to make her trust him and not enough to reach her. He’d break his own chains if he could but he simply can’t. And even though she’s the one dying, she has the most power. She could save them both but she would die before she trust him. And he’ll eventually die without the key.” -RJ



The Stevie Nicks Concert


I have worked: Nickelback and Hoobastank, Elton John, Les Miserables, Annie, Peter Pan, and more all backstage. I have performed in Joseph with Troika Broadway Tours, and sang in Carnegie Hall. But this?

This takes the cake, here is the video from my first front row tickets to a concert ever!

Thank you universe for this tremendous gift. ❤



This song will be in my heart forever. <3

And yes, I am up there, third row, on the left side. Singing upper soprano for some god awful reason that year. Standing by my sister spirit, A, who had just had a half a lung removed for systs. which we thought were cancer at one point. This was such a big show for me, but I always come back to that song.

We sang this some time in the 90’s for a very rich donor’s funeral, and I never forgot important that moment was- to know that our music was so needed in the world. We were each pulled out of school early in the morning, for a mystery performance. None of us knew, the person had kept our organization going from the start.  That day was such blur! But this song, It brought everyone to tears, I was only barely 12 years old. Singing this again at 34 was a huge moment!

I almost lost my best friend that season.. But through music.. we prevailed, and through music we are always connected. Always.


Why music will always be in the core of who I am. ❤

One Word Photo Challenge: Home


My Theater Home: A trip to see Stevie Nicks in a venue downtown where I had only ever worked backstage. I had never had front row tickets to anything in my life, because every show I’ve ever worked was from behind the curtain, literally. This was the moment she tripped out remembering the strength it took to recover from the drugs, and all the years that came after.


My everyday home: This amazing Harlequin Great Date- before she got too big for my little single woman bed. ❤



❤ Home for Christmas was my long lost brother, who helped me in the silliness of doing something we had not done together since we were kids. But they turned out great!


❤ Home: Chocolate, chocolate cupcakes. These are the new norm for our new sense of home now. After all these years of men and heartbreak, I have come to love sharing these with my mom, sister, and niece. What woman doesn’t love chocolate! With my fathers both passed, it is just us women now- and this is becoming our favorite recipe.



My vacation home: people who make me laugh! The kind of friends you never forget, and every time I see this guy I kind of get the warm fuzzies. He’s just not normally in a bikini. lol. He and his woman have definitely changed my belief in monogamy for good.


My coffee retreat home:


And this last photo, is Erica before she passed, may her soul find peace. The third shift waitress at my second home, which now destroyed is gone forever. But may her soul rest with that place of hope, and in the knowing that she is still loved in spite of her choices.


And, what I think is really home most days?