Hungry

For plants and warm mornings…

for spirit and friendship…

For coffee in bed…

for mushrooms just because but maybe don’t eat those…

For waffles, usually home made…the poor way is much cooler…

and for love….

And chocolate always. ‚̧ ūüėČ


Drowning in Love

“She has the key to save him and change their situation. Regardless of how they got in this predicament, she STILL holds the key. Now she could give him the key and “set him free” but she doesn’t trust him. She thinks if he could get away by any means he would and leave her . . . . to die! But he wants to save her regardless of their situation. He will stretch himself far and thin in order to save her to have her to hold her. However he’s powerless to change anything his circumstance only but allows so much and unfortunately it will never be enough. Not enough to make her trust him and not enough to reach her. He’d break his own chains if he could but he simply can’t. And even though she’s the one dying, she has the most power. She could save them both but she would die before she trust him. And he’ll eventually die without the key.” -RJ

 

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The Stevie Nicks Concert

 

I have worked: Nickelback and Hoobastank, Elton John, Les Miserables, Annie, Peter Pan, and more all backstage. I have performed in Joseph with Troika Broadway Tours, and sang in Carnegie Hall. But this?

This takes the cake, here is the video from my first front row tickets to a concert ever!

Thank you universe for this tremendous gift. ‚̧

 

 

This song will be in my heart forever. <3

And yes, I am up there, third row, on the left side. Singing upper soprano for some god awful reason that year. Standing by my sister spirit, A, who had just had a half a lung removed for systs. which we thought were cancer at one point. This was such a big show for me, but I always come back to that song.

We sang this some time in the 90’s for a very rich donor’s funeral, and I never forgot important that moment was- to know that our music was so needed in the world. We were each pulled out of school early in the morning, for a mystery performance. None of us knew, the person had kept our organization going from the start. ¬†That day was such blur! But this song, It brought everyone to tears, I was only barely 12 years old. Singing this again at 34 was a huge moment!

I almost lost my best friend that season.. But through music.. we prevailed, and through music we are always connected. Always.

 

Why music will always be in the core of who I am. ‚̧

One Word Photo Challenge: Home

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My Theater Home: A trip to see Stevie Nicks in a venue downtown where I had only ever worked backstage. I had never had front row tickets to anything in my life, because every show I’ve ever worked was from behind the curtain, literally. This was the moment she tripped out remembering the strength it took to recover from the drugs, and all the years that came after.

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My everyday home: This amazing Harlequin Great Date- before she got too big for my little single woman bed. ‚̧

 

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‚̧ Home for Christmas was my long lost brother, who helped me in the silliness of doing something we had not done together since we were kids. But they turned out great!

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‚̧ Home: Chocolate, chocolate cupcakes. These are the new norm for our new sense of home now. After all these years of men and heartbreak, I have come to love sharing these with my mom, sister, and niece. What woman doesn’t love chocolate! With my fathers both passed, it is just us women now- and this is becoming our favorite recipe.

 

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My vacation home: people who make me laugh! The kind of friends you never forget, and every time I see this guy I kind of get the warm fuzzies. He’s just not normally in a bikini. lol. He and his woman have definitely changed my belief in monogamy for good.

 

My coffee retreat home:

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And this last photo, is Erica before she passed, may her soul find peace. The third shift waitress at my second home, which now destroyed is gone forever. But may her soul rest with that place of hope, and in the knowing that she is still loved in spite of her choices.

 

And, what I think is really home most days?

 

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Healing Reiki & Dark Power Unvieled: 10 Things not to do.

Here is a list of royally stupid things to do if you are battling someone who truly carries dark power:

  1. attempt to bind them but really end up binding them to themselves.
  2. attempt to curse them, but really end up cursing your self.
  3. attempt to ‘banish’ them from your life, but end up banishing yourself.
  4. look up a great hex. can you guess the second part? resulting in hexing yourself.
  5. call your local priest and beg them to do a blessing to deposess them without thier permission
  6. go online and write really dumb and horrible things that will provoke them further
  7. Tell them to go to church. repeatedly.
  8. Pray that bad spirits will hurt them, wtf, they love bad spirits- they are all pals.
  9. Repeatedly seek out members of the community that they work with, and blast them with horrible stories of your experience. until they are shamed away.
  10. Call a voudou priest or priestess to cast a working on them.

 

Pretty much everything on this list is a no go. You should definitely not go consult people on the issue that you think might talk to them unless you think that meditation will work in your specific case.

Here are 10 things you should do that will help you greatly in your situation:

  1. meditate, daily, with ground present wether through stones or through actual soil.
  2. pray if it is your style, but pray for something focused and specific such as: “may this person exit my life fully with love and grace releasing all attachment to me, I give them their freedom, to be who they are lovingly wether I like them or not.”
  3. GROUND: I cannot express this any less deeply. People who like to be out of balance, cause trouble, and really interfere with your life from a place of dark power- do not know how to properly ground. They may even say they love the earth, and that they are an ‘animal person’ or say ‘kids love me’ but deep down they¬†get irritable when camping for more than a couple of days, can’t stand silence, and get annoyed by birds chirping. Don’t let them drag you into that mess with them. Go GROUND.
  4. Talk to your trusted advisors and teachers, not thiers. Do not go out of your way to make your disagreement with thier behavior known, public, or even a ‘raised awareness’. But don’t be silent either, own your voice.
  5. Don’t talk to people they talk to, realize these people are enablers. Don’t be one of them. In the words of a good friend ‘don’t be a fuckin follower, what are you a sheep?’ Well you’ve met their flock, now move on to higher ground naturally.
  6. Realize these people are deeply narcicisstic, in thier nature- that is where a lot of dark power, but not all dark power comes from.
  7. Stop REACTING to them everytime they do these incredible and insane things to get your attention, treat it like a business. Are you absolutely obligated to interact at all? If not. Then don’t.
  8. Don’t just use these basics we all know are true: ground, shield, and deflect. don’t use ‘mirroring’ images in your meditations for building shielding. They serve only to seriously encourage this person to build up thier ammo, and they will just not react to this as a normal person would. Shiny is not always good, sometimes it is bad. Use other methods, soft blue, silver, gold, etc. DO not use white light to shield every time because it is not neutralizing- it will cause them to feed on you.
  9. Shut down, yes!!! Close your chakras, be numb, if you need to it is ok for a while. not for forever. Just for now, if you are around a person who is seriously dark and icky close your entire system. Even in physical presentation. Appear closed, stay aware not arms open wide you are not here to heal them. or hurt them.
  10. The Big One: Even people who go on and on and on and ON about being in the light, and how good they are as a person, are sometimes really fuckin dark on the inside. Be ware, that these people will create more chaos than they ever believed possible in your life and in thiers. They cannot heal anyone, because they cannot heal themselves, and it is usually not obvious at first.

Bonus Fact: Many people who are truly carrying a dark power, in thier reiki and healing work actually are easy to spot because they carry a seeming light about them. Sometimes people just literally are gaining it from other sources for they do not know how to create it themselves. Huge indicator of a ‘dark healer’ is a person who actually has a jesus like following and appears to feed off others, repeatedly. A person who cannot be alone.

hope this helps! ‚̧ more to come..

 

Exploring my Voice

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Inspired by someone else’s blog, I recently decided to choose a new format for this one. I’m going to reach out and try some new things, in an effort to shift the energy of what I believe is an energetic block that I need to work on.

So, to start, it’s a matter of voice- it’s a matter of being free to be who you are, even if other’s *don’t* like you for it. I find that if you don’t have that freedom, to have your own voice anymore- that is when you loose yourself the most.

Now, what do I do? My primary area of expertise is actually in the intuitive, instinctive, empathic, and healing. But one of my best and little known abilities is the ability to actually retrieve a piece of soul and return it, to the person who has lost it. I have a way of helping others feel whole, in spite of their voids- and I value this aspect of who I am.

But I have been hated, I have been pushed to my brink by negativity, I have been labelled, I have been judged- and I have been weighed. I have transformed through my best and worst of days, on this journey of the soul to healing.

Sometimes you don’t know the answer- sometimes you have to accept heavy truths, sometimes you have to just be when you don’t want to just be. It is not the path of everyone to take these risks in life that healing requires. It is not the path of every human being to be a healer- let those who are chaos, be chaos. Let those who are out of balance, stay out of balance. Let those who are not right for be who they are.

And most importantly- don’t drown in their hatred. Even forgiveness will not move a person who is truly committed to their negativity. In the best words of a great friend:

‘Release that shit, have a big snotty cry. don’t let people like that stay in your life’.

Today I am reflecting on how interesting it is that one aspect of finding balance again is recognizing when someone belongs in a mental ward, or a hospital not just a temporary residence on your life. That actually sometimes people take this new age spiritual shit too far, way too far. Ironically, I maybe was born too far off the map to be a member of this inclusive group called ‘new agey weirdos’. I am way too grounded to allow myself to get caught up in their beliefs, and it throws me every single time.

There is saying beautiful and supportive things when someone is feeling down and sometimes it helps yes, to feel that supported. But think about it, what if what is getting this person is actually themselves? I was reflecting on a recent reverend’s audiocast which states:

“go to a mental institution and ask people how they ended up there, and you are going to hear a lot of would have could have, should haves, and actual regrets. don’t try to help them be in balance, they have choosen and decided that being in balance is not right for them. Keep yourself on an even keel.”

It really makes me think sometimes, for what I do is in some ways for some people, tremendously healing. And for others, I have found it can be really perceived offensively- and they will absolutely fight me tooth and nail on every issue every time whether I am there or not. Some praise me, while others really just have come to hate my guts. In part because I carry that wolf mama energy of protection from those who would abuse or harm, and I set a stage for an expectation of truth that is for some unbearable.

It is to say that raising the light in life just does not always solve the problem. Raising the light in life, may actually make it worse in some cases- sparking an argument with someone who prefers the darkness. Sometimes raising the light too brightly too quickly is simply not the answer, sometimes when you think you are standing with confidence you are simply standing with ego. And you just don’t even realize it.

Then others, simply don’t know they are not ‘of the light’- they are actually carrying a great amount of darkness and fear within them- and instead of transforming it they are letting it continue to eat them alive. Or worse, they go join a reiki-new agey group during that time. Some people don’t get it because they are literally lying to themselves. Some people don’t get it because they are exhausted from trying to defend themselves from an invisible war within.

This particular month I discovered how deeply I was hurting from a wound dug deep a long time ago. I never even realized how wrong this person was to me until I had to tackle the issue in the present- with some kind of grace. And that in itself really was a tough question mark. In witchcraft, we call it dark power, which only some people have and that is natural. You don’t fuck with it, you don’t try to walk it to jesus if you are not 100% certain¬†jesus is what this person believes in and is motivated by, and you don’t do anything royally stupid.

More to come…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meditation, it’s just Buisness!

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For many people, business and spirituality are like oil and water. Of course, you’ve heard the age-old saying ‘you’ll be fine as long as you don’t bring up religion or politics’. Still, you’ve got to admit- the new agers have cornered the market on ‘monetizing spirituality’- and though some may disagree, there is a lot we can learn from them. They are selling out webinars, conferences, and one on one meetings left and right- and how are they doing it? Meditation!

You have to admit, falling back on all of our own ‘internal scripts’ usually means remembering all those great quotes by Dale Carnegie, or scrounging up a happy meme to re-ignite a tired sales team on a dull day. The truth is that we all know- this will never be ‘enough’ to fix the problem at it’s core. Our teams, though talented and diverse, consistently are struggling to balance the ebb and flow of being completely overwhelmed, and then sometimes totally ‘dead’- bored, and happily unmotivated. The truth is that often we actually need to step back as coaches, managers, recruiters, and salespeople- and just give ourselves permission for ‘one moment’ in a day to do two important things:

  1. Just Be: aka, pause, meditate, reflect, be yourself.
  2. Suspend Judgement: aka, give others space to be exactly who they are in this moment.

In the space of business, meditation actually fills an important role. It creates space a space of non-judgement, and it brings the mind to peace. Where normally we are preparing by hyper-focusing on the goal, meditation urges us to take a walk on ¬†the¬†wild side- do something different for a change, take a new route, change things up, and then come to the table ready to negotiate with fresh energy. As beneficial¬†as meditation can be in some important areas of education and career development, it is often ignored as a multicultural tool. Meditation ironically is a ‘multi-platform’ channel of it’s own- which overlaps with every religious belief in the world. Whether you are dealing with a renegade Christian¬†sales person who tries to convert every customer both to their brand and their products, or a ‘soft closer’ who is afraid to try something new- meditation is a new strategy that brings everyone onto the same playing field.

Here are a few strategies for implementing and developing ‘best practices’ for meditation in your workforce:

  1. Enforce your breaks. The first step is really, creating a space for meditation in a daily business environment. Wether you are managing a team of high anxiety sales people, or a team of students preparing for finals- your strategies will work a lot faster, by choosing to do something managers rarely do: enforce 5 to 15-minute breaks regularly. This gives your team a chance to change their¬†routine a bit, and may even engender their¬†trust in you as their ‘fearless leader’. If you are running solo, ask someone to help you be accountable for your break time- and keep it legitimately within your state’s standards.
  2. Create the Space. Meditation appears to most people to be one of the most complicated acts of choice in the world, but it is not. In this case, all you need is a quiet space. On your first break, look for a physical space that meets your basic standards. This does not need to be the new throne for an incoming guru- it can be the quiet corner of a warehouse, the bathroom nobody ever uses, or even your car at lunchtime. Avoid spaces that are unpredictably noisy, or breakrooms.
  3. Actually, Do It.¬†This will likely sound like the last thing you’d expect to hear. You need to actually go and do this, because the number one struggle most beginners have with meditation is following through. Wether you have to start over a million times from the beginning, or you have to literally stretch your legs repeatedly- there is no judgment in this moment. Keep doing it. Write down what you struggle with the most, and then use this as a framework for building tomorrow’s strategies. What you struggle with in meditation the most- will be most likely what you are dealing with at your core.

Remember: This is a private practice, and you do not need to share this information with anybody- but you may choose to talk it over with your spouse, your work buddy, or even an HR Coordinator in order to ‘refine’ your skills in meditation over time.

4. Closing with Grace: Find or use what best works for you in closing. If what you need is to say ‘Namaste’- then to yourself say this with the understanding of what it actually means. However, realize also that you are not training in the Buddhist monk Olympics- you are not being graded, and ‘Namaste’ is not needed or required. If you wish you can say the equivalent by using something similar such as:

“I honor myself as I honor the world.”

“I give gratitude for this day.”

“The love in me honors the love in the world.”

“I wish peace, love, and joy to the world.”

or you can get creative and keep it simple:

“May the Odds be Ever in My Favor.”

As you begin to develop your own strategies, you will most likely want to use a small journal or a notepad on your phone to record your own reflections. You may want to remind yourself the next day to try a different format, or to go to the bathroom beforehand. These, however, do not need to be complex notes on the fundamentals of universal healing poverty. These notes need to be more specific, short, and well thought out.

Believe it or not, just doing a simple meditation may be one of the hardest and yet most rewarding things you ever do for yourself!

In conclusion, whether you are managing a team, directing students, training managers, or even just serving some great food to some great people- meditation is something that you can work on by yourself every day in any environment, at any time, and anyway you like. You can choose a meditation as simple as ‘clearing your mind and breathing’, or you can choose something as complicated as reciting the Buddhist prayer for world peace 100 times. However, in all things- do what works for you. Do what helps you to be the most comfortable and at peace.

Set a timer, and come back to the world recharged, refreshed, and 100% in the now.

By: Empowered Feeback (reblogged)

Empowered Feedback- sales, recruiting, and coaching